*This is something I posted on another blogsite. That blog no longer exists, hence this is being transferred here*Originally posted on Jan.23.2008*
I went to a viewing today, sometimes called a wake. It wasn't an easy place to be, but then it isn't about me and my uncomfortableness is it. I'm glad I went even though I wanted to turn the car back at one point. What I witnessed there left me feeling sad yes, definitely, but I was able to see the resilience that can sustain the human spirit. I felt the love people felt for the one who had passed and the determination that his wife (I know I should say widow, but I can't), had to keep all his happy memories alive. She isn't a woman of 50+, she isn't someone who has had many years of marriage to be able to sustain this loss with some understanding and brevity. She's not even 30 years of age and I saw her standing there regaling us with funny stories of her beloved and making us laugh because he would not have wanted anyone crying. I was amazed and just watching her in action made me cry because while it was misery that had caused us all to gather there this evening, it was beautiful to hear her speak and watch her face smile when she remembered him. She was married to him for only two and a half years but she says he gave her enough love to sustain her for the rest of her life. All of us should be that lucky. He leaves her behind not only with loving memories but also with their baby girl who was born just a few months back. I know my friend has a lot to face and get through but I know she will be fine even if she won't be the same. As I type this out I'm listening to an Israeli track I found a couple of weeks back. I think it's beautiful and befitting. It's called Siyaishaya Ingoma and means Sing out for Love and today I felt that happen around me. Here's hoping you feel that one day.
posted by Vee at 9:30 PM on Jan 23, 2008
2 comments:
Gary said:
Lovely writing Vee. Death can be an affirmation of life and it does call upon us to remember the love and the beautiful times. I know that young woman will feel great sorrow and face some grieving, she sounds wonderful.
So often we remember the funny times at events like these. Good to remember... On my death bed, I may not say, "If only I'd worked more!" or "If only the house was cleaner..." but I just might think, "If only I'd been sillier and made them laugh more!"
"I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." - Woody Allen
12:16 PM
Nova-san said...
She sounds like an amazing woman to be able to take her grief and loss and turn it into something beautiful and so loving. Death is one of life's miracles and mysteries and it gives us pause to remember life and all the wonderful memories and moments it contains.
3:01 PM
Dimitri van Zantvliet Rozemeijer MBA said...
Hug from Amsterdam, death is as much part of our lives as is living so why not enjoy it to the fullest?
3:00 AM
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